From Brahma to Buddha, Fall 2008

The two boys began practicing together in their spare time, and discovered that they both shared jobs in underwear modeling. Kevin and DJ would sing together at their underwear shoots, and received many compliments from those presents. They received so much praise, in fact, that they decided to shoot and post a video on YouTube of one of their songs, entitled “Nuh Na Na.” This was largely a for-fun song, in which Kevin and DJ just jammed, jumped around shirtless in tight jeans, and shouted “nuh nah nah” a LOT.

Over at Virgin Records, Virgin’s full-time Youtube-scouring boy-band-hungry star searchers discovered “Nuh Nah Nah” due to its immense immediate popularity on YouTube. The staff rejoiced: they knew they had found America’s next boy band. Move over, Jonas Brothers. The Blast Brothers have arrived.

Before even Kevin and DJ knew it, radio stations were exploding with girly cries for “Nuh Nah Nah” to be played. The newly-found brothers were catapulted into the teen tween spotlight. The Blast Brothers would soon find themselves to be the pinnacle of teen / tween desire. The Na Na Nation was born.

The girls swooned over Kevin’s bad boy persona. The more moody, angst-ridden member of the group, Kevin was rumored to be involved in drugs. His father had deserted him at an early age, making Kevin feel misguided and lost. But his overriding passion and emotion, shining through in his sick key-tar solos, could make any person forget his problems.

Also provoking much female attention was DJ Blast. Although not as much of a bad boy as Kevin, he is the more stable, machexy (maturely sexy) member of the group. Many girls have fainted during his emotionally charged, self-absorbed guitar solos, some of which have lasted over three hours. Fans appear to enjoy every moment.

After riding the initial success of “Nuh Nah Nah,” the Blast Brothers released their first album. This album, entitled Blessing in Disguise, spawned their second smash hit, “That Batch Stole My Heart.”

However, while on a tour to promote their new album, tragedy struck Kevin Blast. Late one night, while under the influence of a variety of drugs, Kevin crashed his motorcycle into a Las Vegas chapel, tragically paralyzing a newly wed couple.

Teenmerica was devastated. Could the brothers that had so recently stolen so many hearts already be separated indefinitely?

However, fate decreed that the Blast Brothers time had not yet come.

The newly-wed couple actually turned out to be adamant fans of the Blast Brothers, due to the fact that they had erased the far more obnoxious Jonas Brothers. Considering the destruction of the Jonas Brothers to be equal payment for their paralysis, the couple dropped all charges against the Blast Brothers.

The Blast Brothers and Teenmerica were thrilled. Kevin and DJ exploded back onto the musical scene with their third smash single, “Blasting Off Again.”

However, after this third single and a successful tour, the presence of the Blast Brothers began to diminish. DJ began to delve out into a solo career, and Kevin was rumored to have slipped further into his drug problems.

Within a short period of time, the Blast Brothers were forgotten—Teenmerica had moved on. “Nuh Na Na” was still hummed by some mourning teenage girls, but they were the last remaining fans of the Blast Brothers.

Nobody was sure when they had first come, or when they had finally gone. But the Blast Brothers forever changed the face of 21st century American boy bands. Kevin and DJ will forever carry on in the hearts of those fans that really connected with them. And many years from now, a woman will smile as she hears “Nuh Na Na” on an oldies station, and say “This song means 17.” And that is all that Kevin and DJ ever could have wanted.

Tim

P.S.—a HOT prize sponsored by Amit will be awarded to any person who can divulge the true identity of Kevin and DJ Blast. Comment away!