Homeish
Hey everyone. Back in Leh as of last night, trek ended after 9 physically, emotionally, and mentally grueling days lost, but not too lost, within the Himalayas. My body is tired, my emotions are tired, my head is tired. I am excited to rest up here in this city that has become so familiar to me. I'm glad I have found some form of comfort here in this very uncomfortable situation. Other than familiar places bringing me peace of mind, the new found friendships that are quickly growing stronger every day have helped so much.
I had another blog post, one about homestays in Domkhar, that has not yet been posted so my next entry will be not in chronological order with this one, but Tracy said that people were dying to hear from us, so I'm blogging.
The things India is bringing up for me are really different from anything I expected, or wanted to achieve for myself, but as they are brought up I am realizing how totally necessary and important all of these things are. Like new found love for my family, who I miss so much and can't wait to call in an hour when they are awake. Or a new found sense of gratitude and privilege for being brought up where I was, how I was, when I was, and for the life I have led, and continue to lead. I am thoroughly grateful for all of the simple things, and it's wonderful. I can safely say that Ladakh in general brought this out in me, but especially homestays, which you will all hear about in the near future, hopefully.
Today I successfully washed all of my dirty, smelly, disgusting trek clothing, on the bathroom floor with a running faucet, a bucket, and a bar of soap, scrubbing, twisting, rescrubbing, soaking, soaping, scrubbing, smacking, scraping, watering, twisting, rinsing, and then drying. Also, the first shower I took after trek consisted of me huddled on the floor underneath the same faucet i washed my clothes with this morning, sitting beneath a trickle of warm water. It was the only way any hot water would come out.
In "real life", these two circumstances would have made me impatient and angry. But I was honestly thoroughly grateful (again) just to be clean, and to have clean clothes, no matter what it took. Like I said, the simple things have become so apparently wonderful to me in a way I can't really describe. Like a cup of hot tea to warm my body up aftr a night sleeping in below freezing cold, and snow, in a tent, inside two sleeping bags, with 6 layers of clothing on. Or a pancake for breakfast, instead of chiapatti. Or a dry pair of socks, after all 7 of mine become dirty, wet, and smelly on trek. (i happened upon a lone pair of clean ones in my duffel bag back in Leh after returning back to Kidar guest house. Let's just say I was... ecstatic.)
Or the box of cookies me and Sandy and Kate just purchased, which was my unhealthy lunch, and was absolutely delicious, and only cost 50 rupees. Wow.
I have had anything and everything I have ever wanted my entire life right at my fingertips. I have been able to buy, eat, take, see, do, hear, smell anything I have ever wanted. And not once did I ever look upon it and think "wow, I am so fortunate." But I am, I am so lucky, and this luck makes me almost sad, and guilty. I was born into this, I didn't choose it. I've never had to grow all of my own food and eat whatever crops I harvested just to survive. I could eat anything, and still can eat anything I want, and there's so much of it I don't need to think about survival. Surviving comes easy, living does not. But here, in Ladakh, living is so simple, and surviving is a harder task. But everyone is so calm, so sweet, so generous.
It's really incredible. I don't know if much of this post makes sense. I am in a head whirl of gratefulness, tiredness, hunger, and calm. (head whirl of calm? yea.)
So, I guess, you can say, that right now, what I feel most of all, is gratitude, for everything and all.
Please, people back at home, write comments. I want to hear about your lives, and your smiles, and your joys. Don't just read, even if you just say Hi, I would love to hear it.
I miss you all very much. During part of trek I battled a severe case of homesickness.... something I never once anticipated I would feel. So, to hear from you all would be fantastic.
I miss you. I love you. I'll see you soon.
Love always,
Mirise.
Comments
Hey guys!
I am so glad to hear that the trek went well! You guys chose a hard one. Congratulations on trekking through it! (pun...) How was the trek food? (mmm Im hungry just thinking about it.) It makes me happy to hear about the beauty of Ladakh. You guys are great.
Love, ellie
Posted by: Ellie | October 14, 2008 8:49 PM
Hello my love!
All I can think is that I'm so glad your having such a vigorouce trip, means it will be that much more memerable! And, at least there aren't any bears.
As much as I would love to have you here with me, I'm so much more happy knowing you are in India, and it makes anticipating your hug of return ten thousand times more exciting. I can't wait to hear the stories, and everything else you have to share when you're home. Like pictures of beautiful scenes, people, rivers, animals, and of course there should be a few funny photos for light humor.
I suppose it's been a little lonely here, and I've been feeling a bit down with things, but after reading your post I am breaking away from my tunnel vision and embracing the fact that I'm alone. I've come to terms with the fact that it is not the apocolypse. I guess you could say your post put me in a head whirl of calm. Something I believe I've been subconciously searching for. I don't need to be a in rush for anything, there is always SOMETHING to be enjoyed about a moment, or long stretch of moments(even if they are lonely). I realized that I have found great company in myself. SO ALL my thanks to you!
Look at this, look how much you helped me without trying, not a thing directed at me, you're not even in the same counrty, and we didn't even talk! You're wonderful and I appriciate you and love you
Posted by: Anonymous | October 22, 2008 6:52 PM
Goodness, yes I imagine an experience like that would make anyone a little homesicky... unless that was how your home always was ^^; *Hugs*.
I'm totally with you when you say that over here "Surviving comes easy, living does not." I've experienced a lot of that the past few weeks. It's strange to me that you want to hear about stuff back home, when to me it seems like such petty/tedious information and I would much rather hear about your adventures in India ^^. But, since you asked, here are a few stories from my attempts at living the American life.
A few weeks ago I was invited to an engagement party at the Pierce's. The party was held at David's Aunt Kim's house. It's a HUMONGOUS mansion which she and her husband designed and built from the bottom up. At first when David and I saw it we were awed, it was like looking at a castle. But the more we explored of the house, the more we realized how much excess there was, and the more disgusted we became with Aunt Kim's financial masturbation. For example, she has two kids, Riley and Delaney, and each kid had their own separate bedroom, bathroom, summer closet, winter closet, dress-up closet and playroom. This is in addition to the playroom, coat closet, TV room, and three other bathrooms in the house. What kid needs four closets!? Excess. It made David and I realize that with all the money in the world we would never spend it that selfishly. Think of what else that money could have gone to? Even if Aunt Kim wasn't willing to sponsor a bunch of starving orphans, she could have put away money for her children's college funds, or something.
After seeing Aunt Kim's house, David and I started researching house prices of our own for the kind of house we would like. It's incredible, for the same amount a month that we're paying for this apartment, we could have a house for five out in upstate New York! A good house, a triple story Victorian style house, with a large garden and a jacuzzi. It's strange that right now I'm struggling to make rent and still have enough left over for a wedding, when I could have my own house for the same amount. But, to get a house out in New York, David and I would have to give up our jobs in Boston. It's all very Catch 22. I can survive just fine out in Boston. But to live, not just get by but LIVE, with the big house, and the family, and the time to write, seems farther away the better I get at surviving.
On the note of jobs, I was promoted to manager at Barnes and Noble. 30% pay increase, better hours, more respect, but more responsibility. It's harder to get home for the holidays, harder for me to quit, harder for me to want to walk away from the money. It's mandatory that I work Christmas Eve. I'm off the hook this year, but where will I be next year? Will I be a slave to Chestnut Hill Barnes and Noble, selling last minute Christmas gifts at 10 pm to people who don't understand how much more important it is to be with their families, and who have no respect for the fact that I won't get to see mine?
Groanings aside, life couldn't be sweeter. At the engagement party I was referred to as daughter or sister so many times... It was just incredible to be welcomed so wholeheartedly into the Pierce clan. David and I had our engagement toasted by Bethany and Aaron, Riley drew griffins with me while watching football with David (he's agreed to be our ring bearer), ickle Sicily played dress-up and dressed as a bride and I helped carry the train of her veil down the stairs (she has agreed to be a flower girl). There is just so much love in that family, and I'm so happy to be a part of it.
On another high note, David and I are going to visit a possible wedding location on Sunday. We had originally been looking into the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, but the people we spoke to were so snooty that we decided we didn't want them running our wedding. Instead, we're looking into Glen Magna Farms now, which has a beautiful lilac garden where they host weddings. We'll see. Mom and Dad want to visit in the same weekend and bring some furniture Nana and Papa bought me. I never thought I would be so happy to receive a coffee table. A hardwood floor has just not been a good substitute for a living room table O_o.
On still another high note, I'm keeping up my writing. The gloomy stuff always seems less daunting when I know I'm still following my passion. I hand write when I'm at work, and I type when I get home. So step by very small step I'm getting closer to completing my first manuscript. Working at Barnes and Noble at least always gives me new ideas for stories. For instance, a creepy thing happened a few days ago: a lady came up to me at the register. She was wearing a green winter coat, like for snowboarding, waterproof with a furry collar. She warns me to keep my eyes open for men wearing gloves, or gloves with green paint on them. These men, she claimed, had abducted her daughter, and left the mother drugged full of "gallons of lithium" on her bedroom floor. The woman claimed she had been taken to the hospital's homocidal ward, and was diagnosed dead. She didn't say how she survived, but she was convinced these men were still out there with her daughter. She said she had spoken to the local police but that they either didn't believe her or couldn't take action without more leads. She said the glove men wouldn't think to look for her in a Barnes and Noble, which is why she was asking me to help her keep an eye out for these conspirators. If I should see anything, she asked me to call a special police, Area C, since she was convinced the local police would do nothing. I promised her I would report if I saw anything suspicious, and as she left the store she danced across the parking lot. Now if that's not a short story or a memoir waiting to happen I don't know what is.
So yeah, novel's complete, hope that's enough mindless blather from back home for you. I can't wait to hear more about your travels and what you've experienced, the scary and the fabulous. Hugs and kisses you crazy goon.
~Ray-Ray
Posted by: Avery | October 24, 2008 9:10 PM
Well hello out there, my incredible traveling cuz. I remember the first time I traveled outside the US, and how I felt many of the emotions you are feeling now. Especially in Italy...wow...I realized America is just so "plush" it's sick. We have to grow the biggest tomatoes, even if that means covering them with pesticides....we actually have shower curtains here so no need for those little metal covers over the toilet paper....we have super soft linens and towels (we were calling the towels in Pompeii Matzos cause they were so rough on our skin). Just a few simple examples. I remember seeing little tiny 90 year old ladies all dressed in black, smaller then me...walking long distances to the market, smoking on a cigarette, healthy as a horse. When we went in and looked for the freezer there was nothing in there except for some frozen homemade pasta and some gelato...no preservative filled frozen meals. That was were I learned, well, decided, that it's all the "unnatural" food we ingest in this country that causes cancer and illness. There they grow their own food, everything is so fresh, and they live extremely long lives. Anyway, I certainly haven't roughed it as you are, with the exception of a 5 say road trip with a random boy, camping and going raw in the midwest, and sleeping in a rental car that one night in Ireland with Toby, but I know the feeling of loving your country yet realizing all the unnecessary excess we have here. It truely changes you as a person, in a good way if you ask me.
So about me, I really don't have much positive to report so I won't bore you. I work my butt of and have no life and am underpaid (the life of a 30 something American), I am a little stuck in a bizarre love triangle which has it's perks but makes me jealous of your sister, I have 2 very sick grandparents, (one whom we share, which makes my heart exteremly heavy) my Irish immigrant roomie just left and I miss her already and now have to find someone to move in cause this place is just too expensive, and I need a new car like yesterday. However, I always manage to keep a smile on my face, as I know I am still so lucky to have a soft bed, warm shower, money for good food, good health, and people who love me. I know that life could be so much worse, and things require a lot of thought and energy right now but that just makes me stronger...so they say. haha
So I have no idea when you are coming home but I can't wait to see you and have been thinking about you a lot. What an amazing life experience for you and I'm so proud of you for doing this, it takes a pretty big set of cahunas.
I love you and miss you! BIG HUG!
Posted by: Caitlyn | October 25, 2008 9:10 PM
I know I'm a little behind the times. I KNOW. But I had to write and tell you how glad I am you wrote this, how wicked-pissah FANTASTIC it is to have a glimpse of what your experience is now, to know that this trip has been basically exactly what at least I was hoping it would be for you. I cannot wait to see what comes of your revelations and oiling up of the gears. Really. I'm so excited.
I've been pretty unhappy lately, feeling a little stalled, feeling a little angry, feeling a lot vulnerable. But beautiful people in my life keep helping things along for me, and suddenly all these people literally all over the world have been asking to read my plays, which is exciting and surprising and very very good.
I don't like Chicago, and I'm staying in my friend's a apartment when I just want a place of my own, but I think I'm getting one. A meager studio but probably a palace compared to some things you've seen lately, and the best part is there's a huge rehearsal room I can use whenever for free IN the building, so I can create and experiement and create. And there are a few pianos too. It's been a long time since i could just come down late at night and play a piano. Something I took for granted every day I lived at my parents house.
Your blog helped me remind myself, during a time of feeling really sorry for myself, of how much I DO have and what there is to be thrilled about.
Last night I went to see a beautiful production of Our Town. I don't know if you've ever read it, but I think when you get back, it might be the perfect time for you to pick up a copy of the play. It truly is a beautiful piece of writing, and it's all about appreciating the little details you never saw were the about life as you knew it.
Let's all live as hard as we can. Ready set go.
I love you.
Braden
Posted by: Braden | October 26, 2008 9:51 PM
Mirise, i love and miss you so much. But it is so good to hear your voice thru these words, you sound like you've grown a lot. I hope you are all well, sore as you may be. It's true, life over here is so easy. Even though I'm still broke (i've been working in the city from time to time watching this beautiful lesbian couple's cat), I can still manage to get what I want. Susan's fridge is always overflowing, and it's disgusting but I am grateful too. Even being without home from almost 2 months, living with you, i was able to get whatever i wanted really. A lot of people don't have that...and i don't really know what i'm saying either right now..
But i did get a real job! Ren hired me and tomorrow I'm gonna go over there and help her clean the kitchen. It'll be opening soon and I get to work with all WABTers! Case, Sammi N., Becca.. it should be fun. IT starts off $8/hr but we get tips too. It's all going straight to my savings so i can get an apt. in the spring. All i really want is a cat and a car, and a place to call my own.
As far as you are, and as long as it's been since i last saw you, your presence is still here. I can't wait to see you! And hear more stories!
I love you best friend,
Chloe
Posted by: Chloe | November 2, 2008 11:29 PM
Also, mama says watch out for the snakes. ^_^!
Posted by: Chloe | November 2, 2008 11:31 PM